Volume 2
Chapter 9
"Now! Why now!! Don't joke with me!!!!!!!!!!"
"Lisa!"
Her words left me
speechless.
Hatred was clearly
etched on her face, and she glared at me as if she wanted to curse me to death.
She turned on her heel
and left the shop. Ken hurriedly chased after her, but my feet wouldn't move,
and I remained seated.
"Lisa…………"
I knew. I knew how she
felt about me. I had been repeatedly shown it ever since she dumped me.
…………It hurts. Even though
I know, it still hurts.
The girl I had always
loved. I had fallen for her at first sight when we were little, continued to
cherish her, and just when I thought my feelings had finally reached her…………
The lively atmosphere
that had filled the shop just moments ago had vanished, replaced by an awkward
silence. That was how intense her outburst had been.
"Ah, um...
Nozomu-san…………"
Before I knew it,
Ena-chan was somehow standing beside the table. She had a bill in one hand,
probably having come to take our order.
"...Sorry,
Ena-chan. For causing such a commotion."
"Ah, um... it's
alright... but... shouldn't you go after her?"
She looked back and
forth between the door Lisa had stormed out of and me.
"……………………"
I shook my head.
Unlike Ken, I couldn't
chase after Lisa.
Her outburst had been
so intense that I couldn't bring myself to take another step.
I already knew that
she hated me. She had directed that gaze at me every time we met since she
dumped me.
If it had only been
that, it would have been fine. Only I would have been hurt then, that's what it
should have been.
But this time was a
little different.
When Lisa's scream
echoed and she turned on her heel, I saw tears welling up in her eyes, about to
spill over.
Seeing those tears, I
couldn't move.
I knew that not
chasing after her here was my current "escape," but being confronted
with the fact that my existence was driving her to such extremes, my feet
simply wouldn't obey.
In the end, I only
ended up cornering Lisa, and I couldn't do anything.
"…………I'm going
home today. I'll leave the money here."
"Ah,
Nozomu-san!?"
I placed the payment
on the table and left the shop. I thought I heard Ena-chan say something behind
me, but her tears flickered in my eyes, and I didn't notice.
***
"Hah... hah...
hah... hah..."
Without looking back,
I ran through the night streets, simply running as hard as I could.
My heart was a
maelstrom of emotions, a raging storm that would easily overflow if I didn't
direct it at something. To deceive it, I had no choice but to keep running
without thinking about my destination.
How long had I run? I
eventually reached the fields on the outskirts of the city and stopped running.
My breath was ragged,
my legs were shaking, and my shoulders heaved violently.
"Hah... hah...
hah... hah... sniffle... sob..."
My legs gave out, and
I collapsed to the ground, tears streaming down my face uncontrollably. There
was no one around. Perhaps relieved that no one could hear me, even more tears
welled up.
"Sniffle...
sob... sob..."
What I remembered was
that time I was betrayed.
In my first year, I
was dating him, but at that time, rumors spread that he was cheating on me.
Of course, I didn't
believe such a thing.
I said it was
nonsense, completely unfounded.
But then a friend told
me that she had seen him walking with a woman I didn't know.
While thinking there
was no way that could be true, I went out into the night city to confirm, and
what I saw was just as my friend had said—him walking arm in arm with an
unfamiliar woman.
Nozomu and the unknown
woman were walking, looking happy and joyful.
Gradually, their faces
drew closer, and when they overlapped, I couldn't bear to watch any longer and
ran away, turning my back on them.
"Sniffle...
sob... waaaaaah..."
"...Lisa."
A figure appeared behind
me as I sobbed. When I turned around, it was Ken.
He had been following
me all along.
"...Ken."
"Are you
alright?"
Ken drew closer to me
and spoke gently. His kindness warmed my heart, but the tears flowing from my
eyes didn't seem like they would stop.
"Sniffle...
S-sorry, Ken. For crying... for ruining our date... I'm sorry. But when I heard
that... I couldn't take it..."
"Lisa, it's okay.
It's alright."
Ken hugged me, my face
all crumpled with tears.
But I just kept
crying, only apologizing to Ken.
In the deserted field,
only the spring insects watched us as we leaned against each other.
***
Nozomu wandered
aimlessly through the night streets. His steps were unsteady, and he stumbled
repeatedly.
Lisa's expression from
earlier kept replaying in his head.
(In the end, I…………)
Lisa seemed to be
desperately holding it back, but she was clearly crying. Normally, he should
have chased after her.
However, Nozomu
couldn't. The fact that he was continuing to cause Lisa pain, as a result of
his continued escape, had become a heavy shackle in his heart.
"...Haha, I guess
it's fitting for someone who kept running away..."
A self-deprecating
voice escaped his lips. He was confronting the fact that he had been running
away, but in the end, it had hurt Lisa, and continued to hurt her even now.
His mind was a mess,
and Nozomu no longer knew what to do.
However, one thing
Nozomu was able to reaffirm was that there was no place for him by her side.
"No~~~zo~~~mu~~~ku~~~n."
Just as Nozomu was
sinking into the sea of his thoughts, he was suddenly called and hugged from
behind.
"Whoa!
A-Anri-sensei?! What are you doing all of a sudden!"
"What else~~~?
Getting a piggyback ride~~~."
"Ugh... smells
like alcohol…………"
It was his homeroom
teacher, Anri, who had hugged him.
Her breath smelled
strongly of alcohol, and her face was red, indicating that she had drunk a
considerable amount.
"A-are you drunk,
Sensei...?"
"Yeeees~~~.
Sensei's an adult~~~, so it's okay to drink until night~~~."
Saying this, Anri
tightened her arms around Nozomu's body, and her ample chest pressed against
him.
"Adults don't
suddenly hug their students from behind like that..."
Carrying a beautiful
woman on his back and having her chest pressed against him would be something
to envy for any man, but Nozomu, in his current state, didn't even have the
energy to be happy about it.
"Boooooo~~~. Why
does Nozomu-kun treat Sensei like a child~~~?"
She puffed out her
cheeks in protest like a child, but her appearance was exactly like that of a
big child.
(This person really
doesn't change…………)
Recalling the
relationship between himself and Lisa, which had completely changed, such thoughts
came to his mind, but right now, Anri's "unchanging nature" made
Nozomu happy, and a slight smile appeared on his face.
"…………Yeah!
Feeling a little better?"
"...Huh?"
"Well~~~,
Nozomu-kun was walking around looking so down, so I thought I'd cheer you
up~~~!"
"…………Did you
notice?"
"Yup!"
As expected, she had
noticed that something was wrong with Nozomu. Well, his staggering gait from
earlier would have looked strange to anyone watching. Only he himself was
unaware.
"...Anri-sensei,
I am…………"
"Yeah."
"………………No, it's
nothing…………"
He tried to talk about
what had happened earlier, but Nozomu felt a lump in his throat and hesitated.
"…………I see!"
But she didn't seem to
want to ask anything.
Nozomu felt a little
puzzled by this. In the past, after his fight with Shino and other times, she
had questioned him to the point of annoyance…………
"…………Aren't you
going to ask anything?"
"Ummm~~~. I want
to ask~~~, but Nozomu-kun, you're hurting right now, aren't you?"
"……Yes."
"I think it would
be easier if you talked about it... but Nozomu-kun, you don't seem ready to
talk yet, right?"
"…………Yes."
As she said, Nozomu in
his current state didn't feel like he could talk about what had just happened
between him and Lisa.
It actually takes an
enormous amount of energy for a person to expose their inner feelings to
others. Especially if those feelings are significant within their own heart.
Also, facing one's
past requires a great deal of energy. Especially unpleasant memories for the
person, such as past sins and shames.
Nozomu's decision to
"face the fact that he had been running away" meant facing what he
had unconsciously avoided.
In other words, it
meant facing the mental pain that was so great that it made him unconsciously
escape.
Nozomu was currently
burdened by an extremely large mental strain due to the overlap of these two
events.
So much so that it was
visibly apparent.
"So it's okay to
not push yourself right now. Last time, I didn't realize how much you were
hurting and questioned you quite a bit... s-so, if you ever feel like you can
talk, please do!"
"…………Yes."
That was why Nozomu
was grateful for her consideration in acting as usual.
***
"Good evening,
Nozomu-kun. I'm sorry, it seems Anri has caused trouble 'again'."
"Again what~~~~~!
I didn't do anything~~~~~."
After a while,
Norn-sensei arrived. It seemed the two close friends had been drinking together
tonight.
"No, I wasn't
troubled at all. We were just talking a little."
Nozomu said this with
a smile. His expression was still a little stiff, but it was much better than
before.
"…………Fufu, is
that so?"
"Yes, that's
right."
Norn smiled at
Nozomu's smile, and they looked at each other. The one who didn't like this was
the adult child on Nozomu's back. Or rather, the child-like adult.
"Booooooo~~~~~~~~~."
Her puffed-up cheeks
and sullen expression looked like a child's, no matter how you looked at it...
honestly, it was quite cute.
Nozomu and Norn began
to chuckle at the sight, but perhaps because she didn't like that, Anri started
wriggling on Nozomu's back. But even that gesture was childish and only made
Nozomu and Norn laugh.
"Gosh~! You two
laughing at me~~~~~~!"
"S-sorry...
pfft... chuckle..."
"Chuckle, sorry
Anri. You're just too cute…………fufu."
"Gosh! You two
are so mean~~~~~~~~~~!"
The three of them made
their way home through the night streets, repeating such exchanges.
"By the way,
Anri. How about getting off Nozomu-kun's back and walking yourself? It's about
time, isn't it?"
"Ehhhhhh~~~~~~~."
(Ah, that's right, she
was still on my back.)
Having felt a little
relieved by talking to Anri, Nozomu once again recognized his current state.
(Whoa, th-this is bad.
Anri-sensei's ch-chest is……)
Now he noticed Anri's
chest pressing against his back, and Nozomu's face instantly turned red.
While Nozomu was
agonizing over the sensation on his back, the conversation between Anri and
Norn continued. Anri, who seemed to have taken quite a liking to Nozomu's back,
refused to get off, and Norn was trying to persuade her.
Anri let out a
dissatisfied sound but was convinced by Norn and reluctantly slid off Nozomu's
back.
The soft sensation on
his back disappeared, and Nozomu felt a slight sense of loss…………
"Oh my,
Nozomu-kun, did you still want to carry Anri?"
"N-no, no. I-It's
nothing like that."
He had been completely
seen through by Norn-sensei. Nozomu awkwardly answered Norn's teasing question.
Norn, with a smirk on her face, continued to try and tease him, honestly quite
devilish.
"???"
However, Anri herself,
perhaps as usual, didn't seem to understand what was going on between the two
of them.
"Well then,
teasing Nozomu-kun was fun, but it's getting late, let's go home."
"That's right~~~.
We have school tomorrow too, so maybe it's about time to call it a night~~~.
See you at school tomorrow, Nozomu-kun~~~."
"Well, good
night. Be careful on your way home."
"Haaaah~~. Good
night."
Nozomu parted ways
with the two and returned to the dormitory. His steps, which had been heavy and
unsteady, had become considerably lighter.
***
The next morning,
Nozomu was swinging his katana in the dormitory courtyard from early morning.
This wasn't training.
It was just a confirmation ritual, simply speaking to himself within.
But it was necessary
for Nozomu now. While swinging his katana, he immersed himself in his own
world, recalling yesterday's events and everything up until now, trying to sort
them out.
What he had realized
yesterday was that he himself was still hurting Lisa. In the end, the
fundamental reason for it remained unclear, and Nozomu's heart only became more
painful.
He had asked for the
reason he was dumped because he thought that knowing it would mean "facing
the fact that he had been running away."
But that very act was
hurting Lisa.
He was unable to take
another step forward.
Even if he faced the
fact that he was running away, the current situation hadn't changed at all.
"Besides, there's
still another problem... huh?"
When he focused his
consciousness, he could see the chains wrapped around him. The power of the
giant dragon lurking within him. And the tragedy and unpredictable future that
it might cause.
Frankly, it was a
problem that exceeded the processing capacity of a single person to solve.
Nozomu couldn't do anything about any of these problems on his own.
But when he imagined
what they might lead to, he couldn't even consult anyone. In the first place,
Nozomu had extremely few friends.
Also, because Nozomu
himself had been repeatedly rejected, the thought of "what if I get
rejected again?" was preventing him from exposing himself.
In the end, no matter
how much he swung his katana, no answer emerged, and only time passed...
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