33
And then, in order to have Duke Radziwill change his
perception, Candice spoke a certain thing.
「Ojiisama…… I give up on meeting
Okaa-sama anymore.」
「…………Huh?」
「I said, I give up on meeting
Okaa-sama.」
Duke Radziwill
opened his mouth wide in shock at Candice's statement. She had looked
forward to meeting her mother so much, and every time Duke Radziwill
came, she would ask when she could meet her. Faced with a reaction the exact
opposite of the Candice who used to have her eyes sparkling, Duke
Radziwill stopped moving right then and there. It must have been that
shocking of a statement. After a moment of silence, Duke Radziwill
crouched down to the same level as Candice, made eye contact, placed his
hands on her shoulders, and showed his concern.
「W-What is wrong! To suddenly say
what……」
「It's strange to say I can meet
Okaa-sama if I try my best with my studies!」
「Wha!?」
「Because even if I try my best to
master manners, Okaa-sama's illness won't get any better. Isn't that right?
Ojiisama.」
「……hk!?」
「Therefore, I do not need any more
instructors. I have decided to give up on meeting Okaa-sama.」
When Candice said so, his surprised face gradually
started to twitch, and he looked as if he was trembling, perhaps out of anger.
「To think you were feeling that
way……! I didn't think Candice was such a cold human being! Do you not
want to meet your mother!?」
「I did want to meet her…… I
have felt that way all this time, forever and ever.」
Candice
tightly clenched her hands at her chest.
She had wanted to meet her mother from the bottom of her
heart. She wanted her to call her name, Candice, in a gentle voice. She
wanted her to hug her, even if just once. Saying I love you, she wanted to
think she was not alone. She had felt that way, the whole time.
（Why was I deceived for so many
years, I wonder…… I really am a fool.）
For seven years, from the time she was five until she turned
twelve, Candice's feelings were continuously trampled upon, and
ultimately betrayed. Without knowing anything, she became unable to ever meet
her mother again.
（Then the result is the same even if
we don't meet starting from this time. I won't move as Ojiisama says anymore.）
Candice
raised her face and asked.
「Ojiisama, is Okaa-sama truly alive?」
「Wha……!? Of course she is alive!」
「Since I can't meet her no matter how
much time passes, I thought she was already gone. I wondered if it was a lie
Ojiisama told to deceive me and make me obey.」
「Th-There's no way that's the case!」
Duke Radziwill
was flustered by Candice's sudden counterattack, but she continued her
words just like that.
「Then why won't Okaa-sama even give
me a letter? Onii-samas' mothers all come to the
palace to see them, yet only me…… it makes me sad.」
Duke Radziwill
spoke as if squeezing the words out.
「I should have told you that she
simply cannot come all the way here to see you because of her weak
constitution!」
「Is that so. She is debilitated to
the point of not being able to write a letter, huh.」
「……hk!?」
「Would it be bad for me to go meet
Okaa-sama?」
「Th-That is…… it's quite difficult,
having to get permission from His Majesty the Emperor and various other
things.」
「Is that so. I did not know that.」
Up until now, she hadn't been allowed outside, as if she
were locked up in the White Palace. The reason might partly be Candice's
attitude, but there must be a reason he doesn't want Candice and her
mother to meet to that extent.
（It must surely be a lie to deceive
me!）
Candice had decided to try and think that her mother had already passed away this time. If she did that, she wouldn't have attachments like 『I want to meet her』.
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