76
Prologue 2
──Birthdays
are always spent completely alone.
Obligatory
『Congratulations』 reached Candice's ears one
after another. Finding it unpleasant, Candice furrowed her brows.
（To say congratulations, even though
they don't mean it at all……）
Today
as well, a maid whose name she didn't even know took care of Candice.
Even though the spacious palace had many things, it felt much lonelier than
usual. During mealtime, the dishes spread out all over the table were colorful
and beautiful. Those too were things Candice had ordered to be brought
to her room the night before. The lavishly decorated cake, stacked in two
tiers, was something that absolutely could not be eaten by one person. Having
chased out the maids and chefs, Candice was completely alone in the
room. While gazing at it for a while, Candice's birthday party began.
『Happy Birthday…… Candice』
Muttering
in a small voice so her surroundings couldn't hear, she took a fork in hand and
broke off a piece of the cake. After staring at the soft sponge and white
whipped cream, Candice brought it to her mouth. The cake was very sweet,
and it was supposed to be something she loved, but for today alone, she
couldn't taste anything at all.
（…………It's not delicious.）
Even
if she complained to the chefs that this cake was disgusting, she knew she
wouldn't be satisfied. Today, she couldn't even get into the mood to yell at
her surroundings, and Candice put down her fork.
Candice gazed at the extravagant cuisine
while remaining seated without eating anything. If she closed her eyelids, her
mother was next to Candice, and her father was there too…… she was
imagining such an impossible reality. The flickering candlelight was supposed
to have warmth, so why did it look so comical? It might be because she knew
that these candles would eventually extinguish and melt into a gooey mess.
（If only Okaa-sama were here……）
Even
if she thought so, she knew she could not meet her mother. What kind of feeling
would it be to be hugged by her mother on her birthday and told 『Happy Birthday』? 『Thank
you for being born.』 Being told words that showed she
was needed would surely make her feel like ascending to heaven.
Looking
behind her, presents delivered from the Imperial nobles for Candice were
piled up like a mountain. None of them sent them with Candice in mind.
They were sending them for the sake of her grandfather. Baggy dresses in the
wrong sizes, hair ornaments in bad taste, accessories she couldn't wear, small
shoes she could no longer fit into. Stuffed animals that children seemed to
like, fabrics with nice textures, and vivid bouquets of flowers. That's why
even if she opened the boxes, it was meaningless. Because the things Candice
wanted were not inside those boxes.
These
were all fake presents.
（……It would have been better if
someone like me was never born.）
The
room was supposed to be bright, but it was pitch black and she couldn't see
anything. Candice was always standing alone in the darkness. Even if she
reached out her hand, no matter how much she screamed, no one would ever touch
and accept Candice. Something warm trailed down her cheeks. This was Candice's
usual birthday. Painful, lonely, and completely alone…….