Can a Mob Highschooler be a Normie: Chapter 25

 

Mob Kousei No Ore Demo Boukensha Ni Nareba Riajuu Ni Naremasuka: Chapter #25

Translators: Nyx and Ririi Rain

 

 

 

Idle Talk: Valentine's Day

　

 

 

　February 14, Valentine's Day.

 

　It was a nightmare day for non-attractive men, comparable to Christmas.

 

　It was the day when one's attractiveness as a man was expressed as a literal number: the number of chocolates.

 

　The only blessing was that the minimum is zero and there are no negatives.

 

　Valentine's Day chocolates have been lined up in supermarkets more than a month in advance, and if you just buy some chocolate because you want something sweet, the woman at the register will think, "Oh, he's buying his own chocolate to cover up for Valentine's Day" (paranoia).

 

　In the same classroom, there are those who have never received a single piece of chocolate in their lives, while on the other side of the room, there are those who have received more chocolate than they can eat. I have seen such a scene, which seems to express the absurdity of this world, every year.

 

　Of course, I am the type who doesn't get chocolate.

 

　This year, too, that day of nightmares, when just going to school normally seems to chip away at one's sanity, had arrived.

 

『Today is Valentine's Day. Convenience stores and other places are stocked with lots of chocolate for Valentine's Day. I can even see a few women buying chocolates on their way to school.』

 

　...... Tsk.

 

　I clicked my tongue at the TV news.

 

　Making me feel uncomfortable since so early in the morning.

　What do you mean Valentine's Day? Just getting fooled by the lies spread by the chocolate companies. Overseas, Valentine's Day is a day for men to express their gratitude to women.

　And here, they've turned it into a confession event. For the unpopular people, there is no other cruel event like that.

 

　......Haa, I don't want to go to school.

 

“Onii~chan."

 

　While I was sighing, my little sister approached me with a big smile.

 

“Here you go, Valentine's Day chocolate.”

 

“Oh, thank you!”

 

　The chocolate Ai gave me every year were the only chocolates I can get. And they were quite elaborate and handmade.

 

　Thanks to these chocolates, I was able to hold my ground against my classmates who have exactly zero chocolates. Nishida, in particular, would probably be willing to pay 10,000 yen for this chocolate.

 

　As I was about to accept the chocolate while thanking her, Ai quickly withdrew her hand.

 

“......Wha-t?

 

"I, I want something for my birthday present."

 

　I braced myself as I saw Ai giving me a pampering look.

 

　This was the price for this Valentine's Day chocolate.

 

　Ai's birthday is March 14. The same as White Day.

 

　It seems that this girl, who is so lovely that she could hardly be considered my sister, has been handing out chocolates to various boys and receiving all sorts of gifts under the pretext of her birthday presents.

 

　Even the boys who were too shy to return the favors on White Day can do so in the name of her birthday.

 

　It was as if she was born to make men pay tribute to her. I'm afraid of what her future holds.

 

　I let out a sigh and said,

 

“Last year, it was video game software, right?　What is it this year?”

 

"Ehehe~, this!　I want this~”

 

"What what?　......Khuk!"

 

　I was blown away when I saw the page of the magazine that Ai had unfolded.

　It was a special collection of Tiffany & Co. necklaces. Every item was priced over 100,000 yen.

 

“You— that’s just no way!”

 

　This is not something an elementary school kid would own!

 

"E--h, isn’t Onii-chan rich now?"

 

“That's not the point! And my money is gone for the cards’ bills! I mean, what's a kid gonna do with this?”

 

“Of course, I'm going to brag about it to the whole class!　Saying something like “My brother will buy it for me right away even though it's so expensive!”. "

 

"Haa ......."

 

　I sighed unintentionally.

 

Damn, this train of thought is completely fit to be my sister.

 

　I've been told we don't look alike, but I couldn't help but feel that we were related by blood in these areas. It was the blood of my mother who demanded not three months' salary but a whole annual salary for an engagement ring.

 

"No. I can't do that. It's too risky.”

 

　More than the amount of money, the danger of a child showing off something like this was the problem.

 

　Not all people were rational. The same also applied to her classmates. There would always be someone who would steal it. In some cases, it could even be the teacher. There are plenty of opportunities to steal. During gym class, swimming class, and so on.

 

　Above all, it's not good for a kid to show off a gift from a man - even if it’s from an older brother.

 

　If she doesn't learn that the value of a gift is not from its price, then she's on the road to becoming a ‘materialistic lady’ in the future.

 

　I put the fact that I had once tried to show off my rare cards to my classmates in the back, and lectured my sister.

 

　Then Ai puffed up her cheeks.

 

“Mu〜, then I want to go to Fantasyland Japan!　Can I take my close friends, like Miki-chan and Kana-chan too〜?"

 

"Mmm."

 

　Finally it’s like this. Compared to Tiffany's necklace, it seems to be quite childish. However, the price doesn't seem to change much.

 

　Fantasyland Japan is an amusement park where you can actually play with monsters. It is a huge theme park that is a subsidiary company of Dungeon Mart and is currently the number one theme park in Japan, surpassing the Kingdom of the Mouse. It is also known as FLJ.

 

　There is a merry-go-round where you can ride on a unicorn, a haunted house with real wraiths, vampires, and frankenstein, a pool show with singing and dancing mermaids, a maid cafe with silkies and dragon maids, a massage parlor (honest) with succubus, a roller coaster where you and a witch ride on brooms and run away from attacking dragons, a huge maze where you can experience being an adventurer, and much more.

 

　It is truly a land of fantasy and dreams. The nighttime parade of various monsters is so popular that some visitors come just to see the parade.

 

　By the way, unlike the other amusement parks, this one is located in Tokyo.

　So there is no problem with taking them there, but......

 

"How many are all your good friends?"

 

"Let's see, about ......20 people?"

 

"Oi oi oi! There are too many!"

 

　Usually it's around 4 or 5! If it's that much, isn't that more than half of the class?!

 

"I get along with all the girls and have a lot of male friends, so it's about this much."

 

　Are you a monster who possesses the skills of social interaction? When I was in elementary school, there were more barriers between boys and girls.

　When I was in elementary school, the same as Ai's age, there were more barriers between the boys and girls.

 

"Decrease the number, okay?"

 

"Hmm〜, then maybe five if you count me. I can't reduce it more than that. It would damage our friendship."

 

　Five people? 50,000 for a day's passes. Well, it's not a sum I can't afford. If you think of it as buying memories, it's not ...... too much.

 

"It can't be helped."

 

"Yayy!　I love you, Onii-chan!"

 

"You really know when to say I love you."

 

　I chuckled and accepted the hug from Ai.

 

　...... The technique of making big demands at first and gradually lowering the level of difficulty is called ‘door-in-the-face¹’.

　It was only after I left home that I realized that Ai had been using this technique.

 

...... I never would have expected Ai to use a psychological technique.

 

　While going to school, I couldn't hide my mixed feelings about how my sister had grown up.

 

No, door-in-the-face is a basic negotiation technique. Everyone uses it unconsciously. It's not so strange if you think about it. When I was a kid, I used to ask for a video game console first, and then I would finally have them buy the software for me.

 

　While I was thinking about that, I saw the East-West duo ahead.

 

"Hey, good morning!"

 

"......, Oh, Maro?"

 

"Good morning......."

 

　At my greeting, the two of them looked at me with dull eyes.

 

"Uh, aren't you guys too gloomy? I know how you feel, though."

 

　When I said that, their eyes widened.

 

"No, the current Maro doesn't understand our feelings!"

 

“Aah, I'm sure the genius adventurer will get some chocolate, huh!”

 

“Ugh, you guys. Look here......"

 

　I said while covering my face,

 

"Let me tell you, I'm certainly a bit famous right now, but only within the school. But that doesn't mean that I'm a normie."

 

　Ah?　

 

I explained simply to the two who had question marks on their faces..

 

"Try to remember. That guy Minamiyama was at the top caste once, but did he ever get a girlfriend?"

 

"Mm....... you have a point."

 

"I see. I guess being famous is different from having influence in the class."

 

"Now you understand, right......?"

 

　　I gave a faint self-mockery. I myself noticed it not long ago and had been running in circles until recently

 

　Had I noticed it from the beginning and confessed to Ushikura-san, maybe Christmas would ...... no, that wouldn't do either.

 

　I had no confidence in myself at the time, and she wouldn't have taken a chance with me. And the guys in my class probably would have tried to confess to her too.

　Life is difficult.

 

"But you know, Maro is different from the two of us. Because you at least get one from Ai-chan, right?"

 

　Nishida looked at me resentfully.

 

"Well, yeah ......, but the price for that is huge this year."

 

"Ai-chan's begging is cute. I'd listen to anything."

 

"Even if it meant taking several of her friends to FLJ?"

 

"Fantasyland, huh? That's some tough request."

 

　Higashino gave a wry smile. Nishida, however, looked upset.

 

"Hey, did you say Ai-chan's friends?"

 

"Uh- yeah."

 

"Then, of course they are girls, right?"

 

"........................So?"

 

　I could read the gist of what he was trying to say and stared at Nishida with squinted eyes.

 

" ‘So?’ you said?!　It's an outing to an amusement park with several fifth-grade JS²s!　What kind of harem do you think is that?!　Far from a loss, it's a win!"

 

"Don't put me in the same group as you!　I'm a guy who is into big breasts!"

 

"Bullshit!　I know you're a lolicon in hiding!"

 

"Eh, for real?　So it's like that?"

 

　Higashino looked at me with a surprised face at Nishida's outrageous statement. I hastily denied it,

 

"Wai-, that's not true!"

 

"Liar!　Then how are you going to explain about Renge-sama and Mea-sama?　Huuh?　You put those top-notch loli in your harem and all!"

 

Did, did this guy just call Renge and Mea by '-sama³' ?

Ugh, no, more importantly......

 

"My party doesn't just have lolis, there is also a big sister and an animal, you know. So it's not a harem......."

 

　The second half of my sentence came out a bit weak.

 

　No matter how much I insist, my party is indeed a harem, and I was slightly conscious of that when I started the party.

 

　As expected, a party with only girl monsters is a man's dream, isn't it?

 

　Perhaps aware of this, the eyes of the two guys turned icy cold.

 

"You see, can't you let me meet Renge-sama and Mea-sama just once?"

 

"I'd like to meet Eliza-san and that demon sister, too."

 

　In addition to the lolicon Nishida, even Higashino, who had a thing for older sisters, chimed in like that.

 

"Then become an adventurer first, because you can't meet them unless you're in a dungeon."

 

　Nishida grinned when I said that.

 

"No〜, not necessarily. We can meet cards only in dungeons, right?"

 

"Ah?"

 

　I raised my eyebrows at Nishida's words.

 

　There was only way to use the cards outside of the dungeons. It was to use special magic items. But such things that could cause chaos in public so they were all controlled by the government.

 

In other words, you can't meet with monsters outside of the dungeons....... Don't tell me?!

 

"I see you've noticed. Yes, in FLJ, you can summon monsters and take them with you!"

 

"Ugh, so it's really that."

 

　　In FLJ, you are allowed to call monsters from your cards. Rather, it is encouraged, because the concept of FLJ is a place where one can interact with monsters, and the monsters that guests bring with them can be used to attract customers.

 

　In return, masters are forced to wear special bracelets. It is a magic item that prevents monsters from harming others. To be more precise, it is a magic item that ensures that all damage inflicted by monsters on others will be directed to their masters. In this way, the cards, which cannot harm their masters, automatically become unable to attack others.

 

　At this point, I can understand what Nishida was trying to say.

 

"Maro ...... No, Utamaro-sama!　Please take me to FLJ with you as well!"

 

"Eh? But I won't do that?"

 

　I answered immediately.

 

　What is he talking about, this pig?

 

"Don't say that!　If you want, I'll pay for half of the ticket for Ai-chan's friends!"

 

"Even if you pay the full amount, I ain't going to let you anywhere near a bunch of elementary school girls, understand?"

 

　But then, an unexpected reinforcement appeared before Nishida.

 

"Oh, c'mon, don't say that. Take us to FLJ, too. I'll pay my share."

 

"Higashino, you too?"

 

"I want to meet Eliza-san, too."

 

"I'm telling you, she's not the caring older sister you're dreaming of."

 

"No, I just like the way she looks."

 

"Whatever it is, it's impossible. How am I going to explain it to my little sister and her friends? They just want to play with their friends, and then a few high school boys join in? Even I will just act as their supervisor, and I'm not going to get too intrusive."

 

"Come on, we just want to see Maro's card in person!"

 

"How about we entertain Renge-sama and the others, while Maro can supervise the JSs?'

 

"So persistent!"

 

　As I continued to refuse, the East and West duo began to change their tactics, by flattering me.

 

"I'd like to see the cards of this genius adventurer who has won a tournament〜."

 

"Yo, future billionaire!"

 

"I wanna see Maro in a cooler way〜"

 

“Hei hei hei!"

 

　　They were blatantly yapping at me, but as we got closer to the school, they started to lose their voices.

　Because .......

 

"Good morning, Maro-kun. Here you go, chocolate."

 

"Eh, uh... thank you."

 

"From me too. I'll be expecting something in return, hehe!"

 

"Ah, ah, ... I'll come up with something."

 

　The reason was that the girls in my class who passed by were handing me little chocolates. All of them are either handmade or expensive looking.

 

　What, what is this ......?

 

　I can't hide my bewilderment at this phenomenon that happened for the first time in my life.

 

No, I know why. As they said, they are expecting something in return. They are planning to invest by giving chocolate to me, whose income is far beyond a normal student's.

 

But this .......

 

　I glanced at my friends.

 

"...... What do they mean by giving chocolates to Maro without even saying hello to us?　Not to mention obligatory chocolates, but they don't even greet us?"　

 

"Calm down, just bear with us until we go to FLJ... and when that's over..... even adventurers are helpless outside the dungeons,......."

 

　The two mumbled to each other with eyes that looked as if they could kill someone at any moment.

　

　It was not that unreasonable, because a friend who should have been on the same level as them kept receiving chocolates in front of their eyes.

 

　If it was the other way around, I would be the same way.

 

　And yet, the two of them were holding their grudges inside, still hoping to be invited to FLJ.

 

"Whoa!"

 

　I opened my locker at the entrance and was surprised to see a number of chocolates and cookies inside.

 

　There were nearly ten in there. All of them seemed to be from girls in different classes and grades.

 

　Rather than romantic feelings, they seem to be more of a fangirl thing, and not towards me, but to Renge and the others, as I could see some hints.

 

　However, I was still a little excited by the cartoon-like situation of opening a shoe locker and finding a present there.

 

""........................""

 

　On the other hand, the East-West duo had eyes that said they wished they could kill people out of hatred.

 

　They were completely silent and expressionless, which made it even scarier.

 

　Then......

 

"Eh, if it isn't Maro!"

 

"Good morning, Kitagawa-kun."

 

"Ah, good morning."

 

　The two most beautiful girls of our class, Shinomiya-san and Ushikura-san, appeared.

 

""Go- good morning!""⁴

 

　For some reason, the East-West duo greeted them in polite speech, so Shinomiya-san looked at them and said "What's up with them?" to me with her eyes, but then her gaze seemed to be attracted to my still open locker. She grinned as she saw what was in it.

 

"Hee~, you're so popular, even though you're just Maro!"

 

"Eh?　Really?　Woow, you're right, it's full of chocolate!"

 

　Shinomiya-san elbowed me in the side, and Ushikura-san's eyes widened.

 

"Uh--, well... rather than saying that I'm popular, it's more of a rooting gesture. They're also addressed to Renge and the others."

 

　For some reason, I panicked and made excuses to the two of them.

 

"Hmmn~?　Well, it doesn't matter. Here, take this."

 

"Eh?"

 

　I looked at the cutely wrapped pouch given to me by Shinomiya-san.

 

"Ah, me too."

 

　Furthermore, Ushikura-san is also adding to the list.

 

"............................"

 

　Wha, what in the world is this?　No way, is this a bomb....... no, that can't be. Then, is it poison?　......No, no way, this is not chocolate, right?

 

　My hands were shaking.

 

Is this really happening?

 

　I'm not sure how this was possible.　

 

Huh?　Adventurers are this amazing?　Isn't this crazy?

 

　Shinomiya-san laughed at my strange reaction.

 

"White day, be sure to get into the spirit, 'kay!"

 

"Ah, uhm, you don't have to mind about me too much."

 

　The two of them then went to the classroom.

 

　I was standing there for a while, thinking about how unbelievable it all was.

 

"——Yo, Maro."

 

"Any last words?　Ah, unfortunately, I won't give you time to eat those, okay?"

 

　With a tap, two Shura⁵ hands were placed on my shoulders.

 

　　The hands, which were only lightly placed, somehow carried a tremendous amount of gravity.

 

　Turning around, looking at the two's eyes, he was convinced.

 

　This is ...... bad.

 

　What's bad is that if I were in their shoes, I would never go easy on them.

 

　We know each other's weaknesses.

　If my secret is revealed ...... tomorrow I will be looked at like a cockroach by the girls.

 

　If that happens, I'll probably reveal their secrets too... but the eyes of those two now were those of someone who was prepared for that.

 

　At this rate, I will be obliterated by their suicide bombings!

 

　What should I do?　How can I relieve these guys of their jealousy?

 

.............................. It's unavoidable, huh?

 

　In the end, I smiled and said,

 

"The amusement park...... you want to go there?　I'll treat you."

 

[Tips] Fantasyland Japan

　A new age theme park run by Dungeon Mart. The main selling point is that you can interact with genuine monster cards. Adventurers can freely walk around with their own monsters by wearing special magic item that prevents them from harming others.

　A merry-go-round where you can ride a unicorn. A haunted house with real undeads. A singing and dancing pool show by mermaids. Apparently the night parades by various fairies and spirits are very popular.

　The succubus massage parlors offer only honest massage services, but there are rumors of backroom membership courses for some rich people.......

 

 

 

***

 

Notes:

1  It’s an actual term^↩

2  JS – joshi shōgakusei (女子小学生, female elementary school student) ^↩

3  Formal honorifics to people who are deserving of the utmost respect status in Japan ^↩

4  The two said “Ohayōgozaimasu” ^↩

5  Shura is a Japanese way to call the Buddhism demigod of war Asura. It is also, in martial art terms, a path of carnage and destruction that awaits those who forsake their humanity in pursuit of power, immortality, fame, or fortune. ^↩

 

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