Volume 1
Chapter 3 Part
4
Purify the
Past, Exorcise the Karma 4
Translator : PolterGlast
When the light cleared
from Akira's field of vision, there was a single cobblestone-paved path
illuminated by the sunlight.
There is nothing
different in itself, but the world reflected in his field of vision is clearly
different.
In the wavering world
like a heat haze, something walking appeared.
Its shape was not
clearly recognizable. Something that could only be described as a mist was
walking on the cobblestone pavement in groups of three.
In front of a store
that should have been empty, he saw a small misty figure similar to a child
sweeping with a broom, whereas others were wiping the glass doors of the store
and arranging the products on the shelves.
The beings, who are so
far different from human beings, or even creatures in the first place, were
performing daily activities that resembled human beings.
It was an extremely
unusual scene. However, Akira was so familiar with this scenery that he did not
find it unusual, nor did he feel any sense of discomfort.
As the odd-looking
creatures passed by, Akira, too, became one of them as he wandered about.
Whether they do not
recognize Akira or not, they do not seem to be bothered by the foreign object
called Akira.
Akira, too, walked
among them without paying any attention to them.
Soon after, the
odd-looking creatures, perhaps having finished preparing the store, opened the
store and began to call out for customers.
However, despite their
lively actions, Akira did not hear any clamor from them.
The world of many
things coming and going was still a world of silence, which to Akira felt was
rather unusual.
――Akira-san, it's been a while.
In the ear-splitting
silence, a voice suddenly resurfaced like a bubble from his memory.
It was a voice that
was gentle, soft, and full of affection.
Whose voice was it?
Without even trying to find out, he could immediately remember who it was.
Gioin Shizumi. She was
the next head of Gioin, born half a year earlier than Akira, and Akira's former
fiancée.
Tenzan had avoided
showing Akira to the public as much as possible, but even so, he could not stop
him from meeting with Gioin, with whom he was engaged to be married.
At the request of
Gioin, Tenzan had to take Akira to visit Gioin twice a year.
Fortunately for
Ugetsu, the Four Noble Houses of Sannomiya had almost no interaction with each
other, and each focused on the political affairs of their respective provinces,
so Tenzan was able to spend his visit without seeing much of the other nobles.
Thanks to this, the
other members of the nobility hardly knew that Akira was Ugetsu's eldest son.
Fearing that Akira's
status as someone without a spirit would be revealed to Gioin, Tenzan
restricted Akira's speech in any way he could.
It would have been
fine if Akira and Gioin's engagement relationship had been broken off simply
because she had no spirit.
However, he was afraid
of being slandered by others and, above all, of losing the trust of the Gioin,
since Ugetsuki had brought birth to Akira, whom Ugetsu despised as a "Pseudo
Kegare" and had even allowed him to be engaged to Gioin.
During his visits to
Gioin, Akira was only allowed to respond according with prescribed words, and
any attempt to contact Gioin would be met with a severe punishment later.
Even so, Akira always
looked forward to his visits to Gioin.
This was because the
twice-yearly visits were a time of peace for Akira, a time when he could forget
about the hell he had been through.
Gioin welcomed Akira,
who would eventually become their son, with open arms, and above all, the
meetings during the visit allowed him to be physically and mentally separated
from Ugetsu Tenzan.
While Tenzan was away,
Akira spent time socializing with Shizumi in a corner of Gioin's mansion.
Akira and Shizumi.
Plus a young girl just over ten years old who was probably her personal maid,
always playing and eating snacks together.
However, Shizumi
seldom joined in their fun, and it was rather the little maid, who was called
"Kuro", who seemed to be more interested in taking care of Akira.
――Hey, hey, Akira. There are sweets from outside the
country. Here, you can have some.
――O~h, you've started learning swordsmanship, huh? Good,
good.
They asked how he was
doing, wished him well in his growth, and congratulated each other on their
rare reunion.
He remembered Shizumi
always smiled over Kuro's smile and enjoyed her conversation with Akira.
When was the last time
he saw her?
Yes, it was a few
months before he was banished. He told them about his recent situation and how
he had mastered how to write a regeneration talisman.
It was quite memorable
to see Kuro's joy, not to mention Shizumi's, was so great.
――I see, I see! You have mastered the regeneration
talisman at your age, huh!?
――You're amazing, Akira! Hey, Shizumi. Shall we consider
giving a name to Akira?
――Yes, let's do that.
――Name? What name?
――It's a pseudonym. It's like a nickname given to a
master talisman user.
――Gen. You must have at least a Gen letter in there!
――Yes, I think so too.
――Akira-san, do you have any favorite letters? Let's see
if we can combine them.
Think about it
a little. My favorite letter, I had never thought of such a thing.
I was just
struggling to go about my daily life.
I didn't know
what my favorite letter was, but because of that, the letter that symbolizes my
name would have been none other than this one.
――It's, Sei.
Gensei. The proof of
Akira's existence, which is the most important next to his life, was given to
him by Gioin. It is the name of Akira's own pen name, engraved with his
determination to live.
They were both so
kind. It would not be an exaggeration to say that, with the exception of his
grandmother, they were Akira's emotional comfort.
――Would they have been
saddened to learn of Akira's banishment? Did they know that Akira had no
spirit?
――Would they also scorn
him and called him a "Pseudo Kegare"?
――Would they sneer at
him, saying that he would be punished for having deceived them?
It was already four
years ago. The two of them have probably forgotten about the child with whom
they had only a brief interaction.
――Even so, he still
wished he could have seen them just one more time.
――He wanted to
apologize.
――For not having a
spirit. For not telling them.
That was the
only regret I had left for them.
So please
don't let this memory melt away.
It is an
important regret that should not be forgotten.
He clutched the memory
tightly and held it in his arms.
Akira's vision was
filled with a gentle light.
――――――――――――――――
As Akira stepped out
of the light, the majestic form of a huge camphor tree entered his field of
vision.
A sacred camphor tree
with a shimenawa (sacred straw rope) draped around its trunk. It grew in the
center of the shrine precinct.
A young girl of about
12 years old was standing beside the towering tree, her back leaning against
the trunk.
"......We have
been waiting for you. I am the one who has been entrusted with the protection
of the land of Kugatachi."
Similar to the
previous girl, she seemed to show emotions, albeit faintly, but her speech was
not blunt and left a strong impression.
The girl bowed lightly
and Akira also responded with a bow.
"...... I've come
to receive the [Shrine Parishioner Lottery]."
"We accept your
request."
The girl responded in
a simple, businesslike manner to Akira, who was repeating this in between
fatigue and inability to think straight, like a mechanical device.
The girl held up the
lottery box that was at her feet and tried to hand it over to Akira, who held
out his hand.
"...... Eh?"
*Thud.* The lottery
box fell on the cobblestone with a rather dull sound, and Akira was stunned.
He could feel that he
had extended out his hand. That intention was certainly there, as well.
――However, he could not
touch the lottery box.
He looked at his own
hand in dismay and finally realized the reason.
...... He is fading.
More than the strange
mists that roamed the outside world, more than the heat haze under the blazing
summer sun.
"W- why
......!?"
Strangely enough,
there was no fear, only confusion about the situation that was unsettling
Akira.
Although his thoughts
were being clouded over, it wasn't enough to turn him into a wooden puppet.
Normally, one could go insane, but it's a miracle that all he experienced was
just agitation.
The abnormality did
not end there.
Every time Akira
became agitated, a wave was generated in the silent world.
Fine bubbles rose from
everywhere on the cobblestone pavement, and the leaves on the big trees
trembled as if they were in fear.
"A, ...... ah~!
~!"
"Please calm
down."
The girl approached
Akira, who was frightened by the abnormalities in his surroundings, and took
his hand.
Akira's hands were
gently wrapped in a cool, somewhat dry palm.
"It's all right
now". Akira's thoughts calmed down and subsided as the girl whispered to
him. "Now, let's take the lottery box again."
In the world that
regained its silence along with Akira's calmness, Akira carefully picked up the
lottery box together with the girl.
The lottery box was
lifted without incident this time, perhaps because it was held together with
the girl, and then they turned it upside down.
――As soon as they did
so, a lottery paper fell out of the box as if it had been waiting for it.
"――There you
go."
The girl bent down and
picked up the lottery paper faster than Akira.
He accepted the folded
piece of paper that was offered to him. Unlike the lottery box, the piece of
paper fit into Akira's palm, which was so transparent that it seemed to
disappear at any moment.
"――[Present
yourself, at the land of Chinowa]...!?"
He read the sentence
in shock.
He knew the place that
bore that name. It was the name of the first shrine he had visited today.
In other words, they
wanted him to return to the very first shrine.
He was not upset. But
an uncontrollable sense of despair overwhelmed him.
The reason he has
endured this long is because the result of the [Shrine Parishioner Lottery] was
not the blank slate he had feared the most.
Because it was not the
reality that he was not recognized even as a parishioner, he was able to endure
even though he was told to go to a different place.
And it happened more
than once.
Counting from the
first Chinowa Shrine, he had visited four different shrines.
Even so, the reason he
was able to endure just barely was because the names of the lands mentioned in
the lottery paper were all different.
――I would be accepted as a parishioner at the next
shrine.
He clung to such a
faint hope.
Akira's despair
transcended his soul and shook the world once again.
The floating bubbles
made the pavement sway, and the camphor tree shed its leaves.
"Isn't this-,
isn't this just a roundabout way!!?"
"Please calm
down."
"H-how can I calm
down!? What did I do to deserve this!!? This is because I don't have a spirit,
right!? Why!? They made fun of me, looked down on me, and scorned me, I-I don't
even understand. I was even banished-........."
"Please calm
down."
"Just let me live
on my own in a corner, will you!? I won't get in your damn way!"
The despair that he
had been enduring up to now began to overflow out of his mouth.
Unable to bear the
pressure, the world shook, the cobblestone pavement centered on Akira cracked.
"I just want to
live a normal life. I only have mundane desires. I won't do anything to you. I
just want to live as parishioner!!"
"Please calm
down." A cold, dry palm rested on Akira's cheek.
"You must calm
your heart and don't lose sight of yourself. ――In fact, so many spirits have
been sacrificing themselves by violating the taboo in order to protect you.
Don't let their sacrifice be in vain. Be aware. You are not alone
anymore."
"Ah ......"
The girl's encouraging
whisper brought Akira back to his senses.
The chasm between his
thoughts that had regained his senses widened at once, and his mind returned to
a state of calm.
"――Everything is
alright now. This place is the closest to the Seat, the place between this
world and the eternal world. The state of this world is determined by your
emotions."
"......I
am."
"Embrace it. Then
you will attain it. There is only one path ahead, one path without getting
lost. Walk straight ahead without hesitation."
The girl spoke to
Akira in a very sincere manner.
Like the previous
girls, she said words of guidance to Akira with affection.
"We wish you good
luck. You shall reach the end. There is no other outcome. ――Everyone is praying
for you, and it is only through this miracle that you will be able to achieve
your dreams."
After caressing
Akira's cheek lovingly, the girl stood up and disappeared behind the large
tree.
The moment the girl
disappeared behind the tree, there was no sign of anyone in the precincts of
the shrine.
――He is sure that there
is no one there anymore.
There was no proof.
Even so, Akira was certain of this.
His body and spirit
were in shambles from exhaustion and despair.
The results of the
[Shrine Parishioner Lottery] were also disappointing. After all, the
instruction given to him was to "return to the land where he came
from".
――Even so, there is
still hope for the future.
Therefore, there is no
reason for him to stop moving forward.
He turned on his heel.
His steps were
unsteady and unreliable, but he still made determined progress.
He told himself that
there is definitely an end ahead.
Akira looked forward
again.
――――――――――――――――
As soon as he passed
through the torii gate, he noticed that the world beyond it had changed
considerably.
From somewhere in the
distance, the sound of a flute resembling traditional festive music could be
heard.
――The sound of a flute,
and the sound of human voices.
Before he knew it, the
mist-like creatures had taken shape.
The people were
dressed in stylish Kosode and adorned with ornaments, like those worn at
festivals.
Everyone who passed by
was dressed in appropriate clothing, whether Japanese or Western.
And everyone who
passed by had a fox mask covering their face.
On the cobblestone
pavement, he took one step after another.
Each time Akira
advanced, the inorganic faces, which showed no emotion, cast impassive glances
at him.
As if the situation
was reversed, the passersby were paying attention to Akira while Akira was not.
――Akira, you have to straighten your posture. Nothing is
going to change if you keep your head down.
As Akira walked with
his head down, the last remaining memory came back to him from the depths of
his memory.
Tears wet her nearly
dry cheeks again from the unbearable nostalgia.
He remembers it well.
.......He will never
forget it.
Ugetsu Fusae. She is
Akira's grandmother, who cared about him until the end of her life.
She was a strict
grandmother. But she was also very kind.
She was the only one
who protected Akira in Ugetsu's mansion, the only place where he could feel at
home.
She was a matriarch
who, until her death, sat in the position of Mistress of the family, a position
that could be compared to that of the head of the family.
Her efforts to raise
Akira in a situation where he was completely left on his own, instead of his
mother who completely abandoned him, are nothing short of commendable.
She educated Akira so
that he could live without despair, no matter what the circumstances.
It was also his
grandmother who arranged for Naotoshi Fuwa, who became Akira's mentor.
Without his
grandmother's presence, Akira, who was treated like a filthy animal, would not
have been able to maintain his ego and dignity as a human being.
――Grandmother, am I a Kegare?
Some time ago, when
the two of them were strolling alone in the inner garden of the mansion, he
boldly asked her this question.
――No, you are not. Why did you think so?
――……Because everyone said so...
――Just because someone said so, does that make you one?
Akira shook his head
so hard that it almost broke off.
Because someone said
so, therefore you have to be one. This was a reality that Akira did not want to
admit.
Because someone told
him so, he had to live as a "Kegare". Such a reality was not
something he wanted to accept.
But even so, Akira's
life was full of continuous denial.
Every word spoken to
him, every gaze directed at him, everything about him was denied.
He was treated as a
sinner just for being alive, and even denying it was not allowed.
The only thing left
for Akira was to accept the other person's convenient interpretation.
As Akira walked, a
haze slowly but surely enveloped his thin, translucent body.
Wrapped in a haze, he
turned his head down and concentrated on taking each step without fail, as if
he were the very being he had seen striding along the cobblestones before.
As Akira continued to
walk, his grandmother's words resurfaced in his memory.
――I'll only say this once. You are not a Kegare. In
fact, there is no way you could have fallen and become one.
At that time, his
grandmother seemed to be very confident in her words.
The reason for this
was revealed just before she was about to pass away.
――I'm sorry, Akira.
――Grandmother .......
――There's something I couldn't tell you and the people
around us.
――If this fact were to spread, not only would I be
treated as a heretic, but you would be as well.
――That's why, Akira. You must never disclose what I am
about to tell you to the people around you.
His grandmother, who
had been called a matriarch, forced her skinny body to sit up and turned her
face to Akira.
――You see, Akira. When I was young, I once saw a Kegare
being born.
This confession was
the very reason why his grandmother was convinced that Akira was not a Kegare,
and it was a shocking revelation that Akira could not ignore.
――Long time ago, in the heat of my youth, I had ventured
into the depths of a forest during a mountain hunt.
――A~a, I can still recall it vividly. I had ventured too
far, slipped off a cliff, and fell into a ravine.
I'm pretty sure the
impact of the fall knocked me out for a while.
That is probably why I
was able to see that scene.
I was hiding behind a
rock and a tree sticking out of the cliff, and below me I saw a deer, which
must have also fallen off the cliff, wobbling around in a dying condition.
It was probably a deer
that carried a high-ranking spirit, the lord of the mountain or some other
comparable spirit.
I could clearly see
the blue spirit light barely keeping the life of the dying deer alive.
――The deer probably did not want to die.
Of course, he didn't
want to die. I think so, too.
Eventually, the limit
would come and the deer would die.
――Then it cried.
*A~a~a*. It was a cry
that burned in the depths of my ears.
It was a cry that
cursed and loathed the absurdity and heartlessness of the world.
―――Condemn、condemn、condemn、blame、blame、blame、blame……。
―――Vile、mad、cruel、cruel、cruel！！！
The deer seemed to
have gone insane at that moment. The blue light of the spirit transformed into
a reddish-black glow in an instant, and then the deer turned into a Kegare.
Looking back on it
now, I think there were various truths hidden in that scene.
In particular, there
has never been anyone who knew the process of the birth and the fall of the
first Kegare.
――……The first?
――Yes. Defiled beasts are created when they are infected
with a miasma from the other defiled beast. This means there has to be something
called the first, initial Kegare.
――The first, initial Kegare is living somewhere in
hiding. That is the currently accepted theory, but what I saw contradicted it.
Perhaps, gasping for
breath, his grandmother fumbled through her words.
――Perhaps Kegare, or at least the defiled beast, is born
when the spirit that inhabits it goes mad.
――If so, then what about the demons? What about the
apparitions?
――You must never utter a word from here, okay?
――……It is just my guess, but demons may be the manifestation
of spirits that has gone mad and manifested themself in this world.
Even the young Akira
could clearly understand that this was an imagination that must not be spoken.
This world is made
possible by the selfless devotion shown toward the spirits. They dwell in the
bodies of the living, not only human beings, and give them the power to resist
Kegare through the technique of channeling their spiritual power.
They are beings that
sustain the world by maintaining balance among the five elements of wood, fire,
earth, metal, and water.
There was no way they
could spread the fact that Kegare used to be a spirit.
...... Because it
would be a heretical thinking that could deny all living things.
Spirits are
everywhere. They will always be present in one's life as long as one is alive.
A spirit, which is
bound to oneself by a bond deeper than blood, will never exert an evil
influence on its host.
This is because that
is the contract that God and human beings made at the time of the creation of
the nation.
According to the
current theory of the ancient covenant, the spirits can never break this
covenant, and it is impossible for them to do so.
If this established
theory is overturned, then there is a possibility of irreparable cracks in the
relationship between humans and spirits.
――Why, Grandmother? Why didn't you tell everyone about
it?
――I couldn't tell them. This assumption is a denial of
oneself and an affirmation of heresy.
――As the leader of the family that leads Ugetsu, I could
never bring myself to speak out about it.
――However, if this assumption is correct, it would
explain some of the mysteries about Kegare, which have been a mystery until
now.
――……And this assumption is the reason why you will never
fall into Kegare.
Akira's body is
covered with mist. At last, Akira's body, which had been transparent,
disappeared inside the haze.
However, even though
he has become such a bizarre figure, Akira's steps never stop.
Fatigue and sleepiness
are mowing down his entire self from the very roots.
Akira's consciousness
had already melted into thin air.
It was not hope that
was sustaining Akira's current steps. It was not an obligation.
It was only the
feeling that the next shrine would be the last.
The hustle and bustle
that used to fill the cobblestone-paved pathway had somehow vanished.
The figures of people
passing by were likewise nowhere to be found.
The cobblestone
pavement reflected in Akira's eyes had somehow been dyed in the color of red.
The setting sun was
illuminating everything in that world.
Of course. If the
words of all the women he has met so far are true, Akira has walked a great
distance around the perimeter of Karen.
It is hard to believe
that it is finally time for the setting sun to shine.
His breath is heavy.
Every time he exhales, a large amount of bubbles will be released and danced in
the air.
His senses were numbed
by the familiar sight, and he couldn't think of anything else.
Akira just wanted to
indulge in the nostalgic conversation with his grandmother.
The last memory of exchanging
words with her grandmother, her grandmother's words that Akira would never
become a Kegare.
――Akira. Have you ever seen the spirit light?
――……Yes.
――Then, how about miasma?
――I haven't.
――But you will see it someday. Remember, miasma is-......
――It emits a reddish-black glow, you know.
His grandmother spun
the words with great difficulty, leaving Akira bewildered
――The mad spirit emitted a reddish-black radiance and
turned into a defiled beast right before my eyes.
――If my assumptions are correct, then this could not be
better news for you.
After all, Akira
doesn't have a spirit.
If that is the case,
then he will never fall and turn into a defiled beast.
You will never become
Kegare.
For Akira, who had
always been ridiculed as a "Pseudo Kegare", this was salvation in
itself.
He was convinced that
even in this corner of the world, it was okay for him to live.
――You have to live, Akira. If you do so, I am sure you
will someday find out the reason why you have no spirit ......
How many times he was
saved by his grandmother's last words? One last tear fell from Akira's eye,
bouncing and melting on the cobblestones.
Akira's vision was
filled with a gentle red glow.
――――――――――――――――
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