Volume 8
Chapter 5
"Brat, today's training is canceled."
"Huh?"
After school, when
Nozomu visited the Martial Arts Garden basement, he was suddenly told by Zonne
that the training was canceled.
While looking at
Nozomu, who was standing there dumbfounded at the sudden news, Zonne continued
to speak.
"You've been
pushing yourself a little too hard recently. Today's training is a day off, so
you can spend it leisurely."
In other words, it
meant that Nozomu suddenly had time to use for dance practice.
As Zonne said, Nozomu
had been quite focused on his training recently.
Because of that, he
had missed a notice from the academy and had also almost caused Irisdina more
worry.
In that sense, it was
a story that Nozomu could also agree with.
"If you want, why
don't you go on a date or something? It's very annoying, but there's someone
waiting for you, isn't there?"
"W-Well..."
"Then hurry up
and go. Good grief, why haven't I received any invitations..."
While grumbling, Zonne
was urging Nozomu to leave with a shooing gesture.
Although Nozomu was
annoyed by his words and actions, which were clearly mixed with personal
resentment, he sighed, remembering that this was Zonne's usual behavior.
"No, I'm glad to
have some time, but... before that, there's one thing I want to ask."
Nozomu himself had no
objection to taking a break. However, there was just one thing that Nozomu
wanted to confirm with Zonne.
"What is it? I'm
busy. Make it quick."
"Recently, I've
been seeing Tiamat's past clearly even without releasing the Soul-Sealing
Shackles, and at that time, I saw the beginning of Alharant..."
Nozomu began to tell
Zonne about the scene of the beginning of Alharant that he had seen in his
dream this morning.
The memory of the
beginning, when Tiamat had lent her hand to humans and had become drawn to
them.
The humans who were in
a worse predicament than herself.
The small words of
gratitude that were directed at her from them.
If you think about it,
she had never been thanked by anyone since she was born.
In her village, she
had been shunned for her birth and lack of power, and her childhood friends had
been more on the side of protecting her.
The first existence
that such a her had found that she could protect. And the existence she had
wanted to protect. That was the humans, who had only a small power.
"...I see."
"Yeah..."
"Is that
all?"
"No, um..."
"It is true that Alharant
began when Tiamat helped the humans in the buffer zone. So, what did you think
of it?"
"That is..."
The scene of the
origin of Alharant had at once greatly increased the sense of kinship that
Nozomu had begun to feel for Tiamat.
Nozomu, who had gone
to Solminati Academy to fulfill his lover's dream, and Tiamat, who had wielded
her power to save the dying people.
They were both those
who had thrown themselves into hardship "for the sake of someone other
than themselves."
Although there were
slight differences in their thoughts and directions, the feelings at their core
were very similar.
That was precisely why
Nozomu could not hide his bewilderment.
Although Tiamat's
hatred was so fierce that it seemed to want to destroy all, Nozomu himself, in
the process of facing Tiamat many times in the spiritual world, had also had
opportunities to feel the sadness hidden within her.
He felt that it had
been particularly noticeable when he had seen Michael's figure.
However, when he
actually witnessed Tiamat wielding her power with the same values as himself,
Nozomu felt a feeling as if his chest were being choked.
"You don't have
to force yourself to put it into words. Even if you've had a glimpse of her
past, in the end, it's someone else's memory. Keep what you think of it hidden
in your own heart."
Perhaps having seen
through Nozomu's agitation, Zonne took the initiative and drove a wedge into
his agitation.
"From now on,
something like this will probably happen often. But in the end, it's an event
from a long, long time ago. It's not directly related to your purpose.
If you don't break the
Soul-Sealing Shackles, your consciousness probably won't be taken over, but by
no means should you forget the purpose for which you have become my
disciple."
At Zonne's glaring
gaze, Nozomu held his breath. The turmoil swirling in his chest was rampaging
in his heart.
"Now, go home for
today. There's someone waiting for you, isn't there? The training will resume
from tomorrow. Rest well."
"...Yeah."
The conversation was
over. Unable to say anything to Zonne, who had said so, Nozomu had no choice
but to leave the place with a trudging step.
***
Since his training
with Zonne had been canceled, Nozomu had immediately met up with Irisdina in
front of the main gate, and they were heading for her mansion.
The two of them left
the main gate and headed for the administrative district where her mansion was.
However, in Nozomu's
mind, Zonne's words from before were still swirling.
"Nozomu, are you
lost in thought?"
"N-No,
um..."
"I heard your
training with Zonne-dono was canceled, so I thought there was nothing going on,
but by the looks of it, it seems he said something to you."
"...Well,
yeah."
While walking slowly,
Nozomu began to talk about his conversation with Zonne from before.
Tiamat's past. That he
had seen the beginning of Alharant and had felt a strange sense of kinship.
That he had been told
by Zonne not to worry about the scene he had seen, for the sake of his own
purpose.
That after hearing
those words, a bitter feeling that he couldn't put into words was left in his
chest.
"This is probably
just an unnecessary feeling, as the old master said."
While letting out a
self-deprecating word at the end, Nozomu looked up at the sky.
Although the evening
sun was still high, the winter sun was still weak.
To Nozomu, that scene
seemed to overlap with his current self.
"Of course, it's
not like I've forgotten my purpose. To control the power of Tiamat. I know that
that is my goal."
"Aren't you,
perhaps, sad? That Tiamat, who is similar to you, has become like that."
"Sad?"
"According to the
story, that Alharant has been destroyed, hasn't it? And the cause of that
destruction was humans and dragons..."
At Irisdina's words,
Nozomu affirmed.
The cause of Alharant's
destruction was still unknown. However, Nozomu knew Tiamat's killing intent and
resentment towards humans and dragons more than anyone.
Then, it was almost
certain that humans and dragons were involved in the cause of that country's
destruction.
"For her, it
might have been a dream. A world where humans and dragons could understand each
other and live together...
But what had destroyed
it were the very ones she had wanted to understand the most."
"A dream..."
"Yes, her... the
dream of a small, young black dragon."
At her words, Nozomu
was naturally convinced.
Dream
Regarding his own
future, Nozomu still had not completely found a clear goal.
Because the control of
Tiamat's power was a goal for Nozomu, but by no means a dream.
For the current
Nozomu, the existence of a "dream" was a dazzling thing, just like a
star in the night sky.
"!"
When he thought that
far, Nozomu felt a sensation as if his chest were being squeezed particularly
tightly.
Tiamat was also the
same as him.
Just as he had talked
about his dream with his childhood friends, had Tiamat also laughed with her
childhood friends, had seen the same dream, and had had that dream shattered in
the same way?
Such a thought crossed
Nozomu's mind.
The only difference
was whether he had recovered from that despair, or had been sealed and had been
plunged into a deeper despair.
"But in her case,
both her power and her dream were far too great. So much so that a human could
by no means achieve it. That is precisely why her despair and anger are also
great."
A sense of kinship, in
a sense. That was the true nature of Nozomu's sense of kinship.
That was precisely why
such words had unintentionally escaped from Nozomu's mouth.
"What should I
do..."
"I don't think
you need to worry about it."
"Eh?"
At Irisdina's remark,
which was like she was cutting him off, Nozomu couldn't help but have a dazed
expression.
"As Zonne-dono
says, Tiamat's past is, after all, hers. It's not something that is directly
related to you Nozomu, nor is it a feeling that you should originally bear.
To try and bear it is
just arrogance.
Since it has already
ended, it is not something that can be changed. Because the past cannot be
changed."
"That's,
true..."
Although Irisdina's
remark could be taken as harsh, her words hit the mark.
Originally, Nozomu had
only felt hostility and caution towards Tiamat.
The reason he had
suddenly made a remark as if he were concerned for Tiamat was because he had
overlapped her past with his own.
In a sense, it was
something that could be taken as a whim or an insult.
"Then you should
just face Tiamat as you are."
"Eh?"
"'Facing' and
'bearing' are different. The Nozomu from just now was trying to 'bear' Tiamat's
past with a temporary emotion. That is something that she should bear, and it
is out of place for Nozomu to do so.
What you should do is
to continue to face her while maintaining your own will. I believe you need to
keep clashing with her."
All actions in this
world can also be taken as an act of facing something.
The training that
Nozomu was currently doing with Zonne was also an act of facing Tiamat in order
to control the power hidden within him.
The training of
swordsmanship, the daily studies, were all acts of continuing to face one’s own
immature self. Conversations with others, fights, debates, were all acts of
facing something.
Then, what Nozomu
should do to Tiamat was to just repeatedly "face" her with his true
self, Irisdina stated.
However, that path
would be as difficult as a harsh ascetic practice, or perhaps even harsher
path. After all, his opponent was a black dragon who had surrendered herself to
hatred and despair for five thousand years.
However, if he were to
still try and master that power, continuing to face Tiamat's soul was something
that could by no means be avoided.
"It's fine to be
sad, it's fine to feel sympathy. It's fine to be filled with pity or to be
driven by anger.
Still, while holding
that emotion in your heart, do not bear it, but continue to face it. Isn't that
what Zonne-dono also wanted to say?"
"While holding my
own emotion..."
To continue to face
something, one must establish oneself.
At that time, what
becomes the pillar is, without exception, the "strong feelings" or
"strong emotions" within oneself. It is by no means a temporary
feeling of pity.
"Ah, that's
right. And that's your specialty, isn't it? Just as we did. Just as you built a
new relationship with Lisa-kun..."
At those words,
Nozomu's eyes widened.
Seeing his state,
Irisdina smiled.
"I was happy. The
existence of you, who would face me as you are. So much so that I wished for
you to be by my side always..."
"...Eh?"
"It's nothing.
Don't mind it. Now, let's hurry to the mansion, the time for our dance practice
will be gone."
With a smile on her
lips, she turned on her heel and began to walk.
Her long, faded white
hair flowed gently in the wind, bathed in the light of the evening sun.
At her dignified
figure, Nozomu couldn't help but be captivated.
"Iris..."
"Hmm?"
"Thank you."
"Fufu, you're
welcome..."
Irisdina, who was
walking ahead, and Nozomu, who was chasing after her.
While looking at her
back as she walked in front of him, Nozomu was recalling the words he had been
given by her just before.
It was true that the
current him had no "dream." But he did have "feelings."
His current comrades.
He wanted to protect the people who had accepted him. For that, he wanted to
overcome the curse of this power.
With that strong
feeling in his heart, Nozomu chased after her.
But at this time, he
had not noticed.
The jewel named
"dream" that the current Nozomu desired. That the expression of that
was that very "strong feeling."
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